Dear Committee Members by Julie Schumacher (English) Paperback Book

Description: Dear Committee Members by Julie Schumacher A Best Book of the Year: NPR and Boston Globe Finally a novel that puts the pissed back into epistolary. Jason Fitger is a beleaguered professor of creative writing and literature at Payne University, a small and not very distinguished liberal arts college in the midwest. His department is facing draconian cuts and squalid quarters, while one floor above them the Economics Department is getting lavishly remodeled offices. His once-promising writing career is in the doldrums, as is his romantic life, in part as the result of his unwise use of his private affairs for his novels. His star (he thinks) student cant catch a break with his brilliant (he thinks) work Accountant in a Bordello, based on Melvilles Bartleby. In short, his life is a tale of woe, and the vehicle this droll and inventive novel uses to tell that tale is a series of hilarious letters of recommendation that Fitger is endlessly called upon by his students and colleagues to produce, each one of which is a small masterpiece of high dudgeon, low spirits, and passive-aggressive strategies. We recommend Dear Committee Members to you in the strongest possible terms. FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Author Biography Julie Schumacher is the author of three books for middle-grade readers. This is her first YA novel. She lives in St. Paul, Minnesota. Review A Best Book of the Year: NPR and Boston Globe"After years of teaching, I write a lot of recommendation letters, and Schumachers parodies sound alarmingly close to the real thing." —Claire Messud, The Guardian "A hilarious academic novel thatll send you laughing (albeit ruefully) back into the trenches of the classroom. . . . [A] mordant minor masterpiece. . . . Like the best works of farce, academic or otherwise, Dear Committee Members deftly mixes comedy with social criticism and righteous outrage. By the end, you may well find yourself laughing so hard it hurts." —Maureen Corrigan, NPR"If you like academic satires, youll love this novel, which is written as a series of recommendation letters by a cranky, long-suffering English professor. Like Richard Russos Straight Man this book has a lot to say about the humanities in American colleges and universities. Its very funny and also moving." —Tom Perrotta "In My Library", New York Post"For that reason, I entreat you, now that youve reviewed my précis, to read Ms. Schumachers book. It is easily consumed in small pieces, like a tray of sweets and savories. It is ideal for passing the time between innings of a baseball game, waiting for a long red light to change, or sitting in a warm bath. As for Jason Fitger, I implore you to take a leap of faith and offer him admission to your next available residency. The worlds of business and academia will be poorer for lack of his letters, but perhaps, with your support, he can find a way to channel his energy and inventiveness into a new novel—one that will hopefully be as entertaining and as sharply written as Julie Schumachers Dear Committee Members." —Jon Michaud, The New Yorker"A smart-as-hell, fun-as-heck novel composed entirely of recommendation letters. . . . Beyond the moribund state of academia, Schumacher touches on more universal themes about growing old and facing failure: not necessarily the dramatic failure of a batter striking out with two on and two out in the bottom of the ninth, but the quieter failure that accrues over time, until we are finally forced to admit that we are not who we wanted to become." —Alexander Nazaryan, Newsweek"The book is hilarious. . . . [Schumachers] scabrous book reminds me of Sam Lipsytes Home Land, Richard Russos Straight Man and Jincy Willetts Winner of the National Book Award. If you didnt find those books funny, well, that means youre a corpse. But youre also, apparently, a corpse who reads, so theres hope for you yet. You should read Dear Committee Members; maybe it will bring you back to life." —Brock Clarke, The New York Times Book Review"Bitterly hilarious. If you are looking for a witty, original cri de coeur over the oft-lamented decline of the humanities, I urgently recommend this novel." —Sam Sacks, The Wall Street Journal"Julie Schumachers Dear Committee Members is the best sort of novel: the laugh-out-loud page-turner that also bleeds and breathes, the satire you want to quote to friends, the book that lets you in on the joke so you can better see the truth of the world." —The Rumpus"A funny and lacerating novel of academia written in the form of letters of recommendation. . . .Dear Committee Members isnt really an academic novel, or even an academic satire. Its a sincere exploration of the depths and breadths of human selfishness, and the contemporary American academy is simply the backdrop. . . . So in the end, it is exactly Fitgers selfishness that destructs, rather than his life—and although his semi-redemption may not redeem the rank carcass of academic culture that continues to fester around him, its more than enough to recommend this mischievous novel." —Slate"[A] richly sardonic epistolary volume." —San Francisco Chronicle "The beauty of Dear Committee Members is that Fitger is not just an eloquent professor with a poison pen. Hes previously alienated quite a few of the people whose favor he attempts to curry here, his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend included, and he has a habit of compounding the insults anew with each communication. But for all his corrosiveness, hes actually one of the good guys: a generous defender of gifted students, underappreciated colleagues, and fine scholarship. Hes a romantic, really, a champion of academia. And he does love being a writer, which, despite its horrors, is possibly one of the few sorts of lives worth living at all." —The Boston Globe "Each letter Fitger writes is imbued with the wisdom and comic chops that make Schumacher a wonderfully entertaining writer. Let this review serve as an LOR for Dear Committee Members. If theres one thing new grads need in addition to the congratulatory check or gift card, its a few good laughs before reality sets in." —Minneapolis Star Tribune"If Fitger wrote only sarcastic letters, that would be one thing, but in this short tome a man appears between the zingers... Be sure to tag this book with for fans of David Foster Wallace." —Milwaukee Journal Sentinel"Lest you conclude I am merely impressed by a humorous, well-handled gimmick, let me assure you that Ms. Schumacher brilliantly lays bare the tale of Fitgers stalled career, failed love life, and quixotic championing of a student and his unfinished novel. "Dear Committee Members" ends with a blend of sadness and quiet hope that I did not anticipate, but found wholly satisfying. In short, I recommend Dear Committee Members without hesitation or caveat." —The Iowa Gazette"A hilarious and surprisingly poignant pleasure to read." —Houston Chronicle"Schumachers satire of the petty rivalries, byzantine hierarchies and committee meetings is spot on—scathing and laugh-out-loud funny." —The Wichita Eagle"As back-to-school entertainment, Dear Committee Members hits the spot." —Santa Fe New Mexican"[A] very funny epistolary novel composed of recommendation letters. . . . Its an unusual form for comedy, but it works. Truth is stranger than fiction in this acid satire of the academic doldrums." —Kirkus Reviews"Schumachers warm satire of the peculiarities of the Ivory Tower will be recognizable to anyone who has encountered the bureaucracy and internal politics of higher education." —Booklist"A creative writing professor herself, Schumacher crafts a suitably verbose but sympathetic voice for Fitger, a man who exudes both humor and heart." —Publishers Weekly"The letters have many funny touches, which carry the novel. The best touches, though, have to do with students. More than a third of the letters recommend students for jobs, and one chord that runs throughout is that they face dubious prospects. . . . Its not a good time to be an English major, and Fitgers concern for his students redeems his otherwise questionably epistolary etiquette." —Chronicle of Higher Education "Schumacher revitalizes an under—or maybe just unappreciated art form. . . . [Her] tone is warm and her insight into academia incisive." —Bookish.com"A clever epistolary send-up of academic logrolling." —Shelf Awareness"Lets not look at this as an epistolary novel about the academic world, but as a laying out of the Tarot cards of our societys past and future. Its that indicative. That important. In the end, the future looks not quite so grim, but my reading is that like so many novels that investigate independence and fierce belief (with Melville in the lead), we have to read between the lines, infer, assume, and hope that the American virtues of compassion, empathy, and even wild projection will continue. This is a funny, very sad, disarming novel. My pitch to Hollywood would be: David Marksons Wittgensteins Mistress meets Padgett Powells The Interrogative Mood but—and here Im just another expendable would-be savior, like Ms. Schumachers character Jay Fitger—nobody would know what I was talking about. My hats off to the author of this flawlessly written, highwire act of a book. Hollywood be damned." —Ann Beattie, author of Chilly Scenes of Winter and The New Yorker Stories"Dear Committee Members is a brilliant book that, in my head, sits comfortably on my prized shelf of academic novels, right between Lucky Jim and Pictures from an Institution. But its funnier than either, and more wrenching in the end. The conceit of a novel told in letters of reference is inspired, and it is killingly funny because its all so killingly true. Truth walks here in the strangest of costumes, and in part because of its guises, we can face it, frown, laugh, cry. Ive never lost an afternoon so happily." —Jay Parini, author of The Last Station and The Passages of H.M. "Julie Schumacher has perfectly rendered a portrait of the artist not as a young man but as the beleaguered tenured has-been surly lovable anachronistic man hes become. At once satire and tribute, the book alludes to a time in Americas past both in literature and academia, and the passage of that heady heyday is hilariously—and bittersweetly—displayed in this genius borrowed form. Never have letters of recommendation made me happier to encounter them." —Antonya Nelson, author of Funny Once: Stories and Bound Review Quote Praise for Dear Committee Members : "A hilarious academic novel thatll send you laughing (albeit ruefully) back into the trenches of the classroom... [A] mordant minor masterpiece... Like the best works of farce, academic or otherwise, Excerpt from Book September 3, 2009 Bentham Literary Residency Program P.O. Box 1572 Bentham, ME 04976 Dear Committee Members, Over the past twenty-odd years Ive recommended god only knows how many talented candidates for the Bentham January residency--that enviable literary oasis in the woods south of Skowhegan: the solitude, the pristine cabins, the artistic camaraderie, and those exquisite hand-delivered satchels of apples and cheese ... Well, you can scratch all prior nominees and pretenders from your mailing lists, because none is as provocative or as promising as Darren Browles. Mr. Browles is my advisee; hes taken two of my workshops, and his novel-in-progress, a retelling of Melvilles Bartleby (but in which the eponymous character is hired to keep the books at a brothel, circa 1960, just outside Las Vegas), is both tender satire and blistering adaptation/homage. In brief: this tour de force is witty, incisive, original, brutally sophisticated, erotic. You dont need me to summarize it--youll have received his two opening chapters. My agent, Ken Doyle, is apprised of the project and is gnashing his pearly incisors in the hope of receiving the completed manuscript soon. Any additional perks or funding you can provide for Browles during the residency will be appreciated; hes likely to be wooed by editors all over New York. A personal aside: I was very sorry to hear of Mikes death. He was a terrific director, and I always enjoyed talking to him in the row of blue rocking chairs out on the porch during the occasions (too rare!) when I was able to escape my academic duties here in the Midwest and accept his invitations to Bentham. Hell be terribly hard to replace. Whoever tries to step into them will find he wore sizeable, generous shoes. In sadness but looking to the future, Jason T. Fitger Professor of Creative Writing and English Department of English Payne University September 4, 2009 Theodore Boti, Chair Department of English Dear Ted, Your memo of August 30 requests that we on the English faculty recommend some luckless colleague for the position of director of graduate studies. (You may have been surprised to find this position vacant upon your assumption of the chairship last month--if so, trust me, you will encounter many such surprises here.) A quick aside, Ted: god knows what enticements were employed during the heat of summer to persuade you--a sociologist!--to accept the position of chair in a department not your own, an academic unit whose reputation for eccentricity and discord has inspired the upper echelon to punish us by withholding favors as if from a six-year-old at a birthday party: No raises or research funds for you, you ungovernable rascals! And no fudge before dinner! Perhaps, as the subject of a sociological study, you will find the problem of our dwindling status intriguing. To the matter at hand: though English has traditionally been a largish department, you will find there are very few viable candidates capable of assuming the mantle of DGS. In fact, if I were a betting man, Id wager that only 10 percent of the English instruction list will answer your call for nominations. Why? First, because more than a third of our faculty now consists of temporary (adjunct) instructors who creep into the building under cover of darkness to teach their graveyard shifts of freshman comp; they are not eligible to vote or to serve. Second, because the remaining two-thirds of the faculty, bearing the scars of disenfranchisement and long-term abuse, are busy tending to personal grudges like scraps of carrion on which they gnaw in the gloom of their offices. Long story short: your options arent pretty. After subtracting the names of those who are on leave or close to retirement, and those already serving in the killing fields of administration, you will probably be forced to choose between Franklin Kentrell (NO: spend five consecutive minutes with him and you will understand why); Jennifer Brown-Wilson (a whipping girl for the theory faction--already terrorized, she will decline); Albert Tyne (under no circumstances should you enter his office without several days warning--more on this later); Donna Lovejoy (poor overworked creature--I hereby nominate her [anonymously please] with this letter); and me. Youll soon find that I make myself unpleasant enough to be safe from nomination. Enfin: Lovejoy will sag under this additional burden, but she will perform. Ted, in your memo you referred briefly, also, to the need for faculty forbearance during what we were initially told would be the "remodeling" of the second floor for the benefit of our colleagues in the Economics Department.1 Im not sure that you noticed, but the Econ faculty were, in early August, evacuated from the building--as if theyd been notified, sotto voce, of an oncoming plague. Not so the faculty in English. With the exception of a few individuals both fleet of foot and quick-witted enough to claim status as asthmatics, we have been Left Behind, almost biblically, expected to begin our classes and meet with students while bulldozers snarl at the door. Yesterday afternoon during my Multicultural American Literature class, I watched a wrecking ball swinging like a hypnotists watch just past the window. While I am relieved to know that the economists--delicate creatures!--have been safely installed in a wing of the new geology building where their physical comfort and aesthetic needs can be addressed, those of us who remain as castaways here in Willard Hall risk not only deafness but mutation: as of next week we have been instructed to keep our windows tightly closed due to "particulate matter"--but my office window (heres the amusing part, Ted) no longer shuts. One theory here: the deanery is annoyed with our requests for parity and, weary of waiting for us to retire, has decided to kill us. Let the academic year begin! Cordially and with a hearty welcome to the madhouse, Jay September 9, 2009 Mary Alice Ingersol, Manager Wexler Foods, Inc. 65409 Capitol Drive Maplewood, MN 55109 Dear Ms. Ingersol, This letter is intended to bolster the application to Wexler Foods of my former student John Leszczynski, who completed the Junior/Senior Creative Writing Workshop three months ago. Mr. Leszczynski received a final grade of B, primarily on the basis of an eleven-page short story about an inebriated man who tumbles into a cave and surfaces from an alcoholic stupor to find that a tentacled monster--a sort of fanged and copiously salivating octopus, if memory serves--is gnawing through the flesh of his lower legs, the monsters spittle burbling ever closer to the victims groin. Though chaotic and improbable even within the fantasy/horror genre, the story was solidly constructed: dialogue consisted primarily of agonized groans and screaming; the chronology was relentlessly clear. Mr. Leszczynski attended class faithfully, arriving on time, and rarely succumbed to the undergraduate impulse to check his cell phone for messages or relentlessly zip and unzip his backpack in the final minutes of class. Whether punctuality and an enthusiasm for flesh-eating cephalopods are the main attributes of the ideal Wexler employee I have no idea, but Mr. Leszczynski is an affable young man, reliable in his habits, and reasonably bright. You might start him off in produce, rather than seafood or meats. Whimsically, Jason T. Fitger, Professor of Creative Writing/English Payne University September 14, 2009 Ted Boti, Resident Sociologist and Chair Department of English Dear Ted: Youve asked me to write a letter seconding the nomination of Franklin Kentrell for Paynes coveted Davidson Chair. I assume Kentrell is behind this request; no sane person would nominate a man whose only recent publications consist of personal genealogical material and who wears visible sock garters in class--all he lacks is a white tin basin to resemble a nineteenth-century barber. But if you want me to endorse his nomination in order to keep him quiet and away from your office (you will find him as persistent and maddening as a fly), you may excerpt the following sentences and affix my name to them: "Professor Franklin Kentrell has a singular mind and a unique approach to the discipline. He is sui generis. The Davidson Chair has never seen his like before." A word on the call for official, written letters of recommendation, Ted: I hope for the sake of all concerned you will cut back on these as much as possible. The LOR has become a rampant absurdity, usurping the place of the quick consultation and the two-minute phone call--not to mention the teaching and research that faculty were supposedly hired to perform. I havent published a novel in six years; instead, I fill my departmental hours casting words of praise into the bureaucratic abyss. On multiple occasions, serving on awards committees, I was actually required to write LORs to myself. Keeping my temper under wraps for the present, Jay P.S.: I couldnt help but notice, following the departure of the economists, that our Tech Help office has been largely vacated as well, a single employee--the appropriately named Mr. Duffy Napp--left behind to respond to faculty requests for computer assistance. This surly somnambulist rarely deigns to answer the most basic Details ISBN0345807332 Author Julie Schumacher Short Title DEAR COMMITTEE MEMBERS Pages 192 Publisher Anchor Books Language English ISBN-10 0345807332 ISBN-13 9780345807335 Media Book Format Paperback DEWEY 813.54 Residence St. Paul, MN, US Birth 1958 Year 2015 Publication Date 2015-06-23 Imprint Anchor Place of Publication New York Country of Publication United States AU Release Date 2015-06-23 NZ Release Date 2015-06-23 US Release Date 2015-06-23 UK Release Date 2015-06-23 Series The Dear Committee Trilogy Series Number 1 Audience General We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. 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